Miyako represents a truly awesome paradigm change for me. I can't call PGH a "big city," but it sure as hell ain't a small one, and having grown up there with its relative wealth things to do during both the daytime and nighttime, moving out here has proven something of a... not so much a challenge, but rather... aw, fuck it, call shit what it is - Miyako is a challenge. In any given week, I'm likely to change my opinion of it at least twice (basically ranging from either "I like Miyako" to "Fuck 'dis noise"), and I'm back on my dissatisfaction game of late. There's a lot of superficial interaction going on here, but nothing too much of substance... that I've experienced yet, anyway. Here's the main problem I'm obsessing over right now: there doesn't seem to be much hanging out going on. In its place are a bunch of club activities, and while I appreciate structure, I'm definitely the kind of generally structureless dude, so far as plans are concerned, who doesn't want to meet people via structured activity. Unfortunately, that seems to be the main means through which socializing is conducted here: I've participated in a break-dance troupe, a volleyball team, and some other collectives, but it didn't yield much more than both parties coming closer to the ideological wall that is established between big-city (and foreign) people and those living in a place such as this. Thing is, I'd much rather decide on what the hell it is I want to do on a given/afternoon/evening via whatever fickle whims I'm entertaining at the moment (granted, that usually revolves around music, whether playing with others, listening to, or going to a show). Miyako will not allow that of me, especially concerning my main interests in extreme genres of music. Self-actualization, unadulterated, anyway, is a bit of a problem for a guy like me in a place like this. Hence, this back and forth attitude I've developed towards my current city of residence - when I can appreciate the laid back lifestyle, with the absolutely gorgeous scenery around me, and totally cheap cost of most everything, I'm cool with it... but then I start thinking about what it is I'm actually interested in ,what I like to do, what I want to pursue, and I see Miyako as a singular dead-end.
When I try balancing these facts out, I say to myself that Miyako, on the positive end, affords me a relatively cheap (though I won't get into specifics) lifestyle, a chance to study my ass off, and to experience the Japan that isn't corporatized as of yet, but honestly I am only secondarily concerned with those things: living in a spot where I can entertain my actual callings (music, concerts, legit intellectualism, etc.) might be more expensive, but god damn it what is the point of not pursuing that? Hell, that's why I stuck with what I loved to study in college, because I wasn't so much concerned with getting a "money-making" degree as I was with going after what I actually found interesting. It seems to me like Miyako is a kind of purgatory for me, offering the possibility of later on moving into a space that offers me growth and like-mindedness amongst peers, while throwing me a pill that is fucking hard to swallow on each day I am here.
I'm gonna stop there cause I'm about to start really going off on Miyako, and I'd like to keep these opinions at least relatively buried for a bit longer. Suffice to say, I have already submitted a number of applications to jobs in Tokyo, Osaka, and Kyoto.
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